Vindication

It's hard learning the ways of a brand new lab and I've felt that I am dragging along while frantically trying to process all the new information, remember the small details of how things are done differently here, and keep the different projects straight. Ever since I made the personally momentous decision to major in biology, I've spent a lot of time worrying about my ability to do science. It's always been a deep-seated fear of mine that I am not good enough for the trade. I am a slow (if careful) learner and I absorb things deeply, but it takes me time. I don't do well in harried atmospheres where I feel like I don't count and I get little constructive feedback about my performance. For the past two years I've worried and literally wept in despair about my ability to do the work of science. But today...well today I was told something that I haven't heard in years. I was told that I am doing just fine. I was told that I am a good addition to the lab. I heard the words, directed at me: "You can be a scientist."

Something deep inside of me just took a breath. The relief. It's palpable. And oh, how I love my new lab. The people are good and the science is great. It makes such a difference when the science is great.